This was written more than a year ago. I decided that it’s time for this one to see the light of day…
A few days before our licensure exam, there I was, wondering whether I have lost touch with my writing. I had a lot to study but I didn’t know where to even begin. My roommates were either memorizing mnemonics or reading practice questions. And me? Well, there I was, typing away my thoughts on my computer when I was supposed to be remembering important things that I might have overlooked.
A couple of weeks back, I found the blog of one of my favorite celebrities but it took days before I finally read her blog. My not-so-wide vocabulary sought for a better word other than “amazing” to describe her writing but found nothing. Reading her blog made me realize how I missed doing something I’m actually good at or at least I think I’m good at. I’m not exaggerating when it has been years since I last wrote anything, anything other than my diary entry that is. And while I sat there, pondering on what to study next, I couldn’t help but wonder if I have lost my touch with writing.
Weeks and weeks ago, I browsed & read some of the old things I’ve written, knowing that I no longer write as good as I used to, frightened me. Writing is something that I never really considered a talent nor a skill, it’s just something I do to voice out everything I couldn’t and probably would never say out loud. But it is the only thing that made me feel at least a little bit special because I’m good at it, again, at least I think I am. I know that getting back to how good I used to write might & will probably take some time but I somehow want to be assured that at least I won’t lose any of it.
I put off something that I love doing for a profession that I chose but I just hope I won’t lose the one thing that I have always considered a part of me. But if I think about it, I didn’t lose it at all; I never really stopped writing at all. I have always poured my heart into whatever I write and I realized that I still do. They were not just published like how my thoughts are never really said. Still, my best writings are hidden and found between the pages of my diaries. Most of what I wrote are as private as my thoughts, only found within the corners of my mind but who knows, maybe one day, they will see the light of day.
